Why Do People Have To Leave Each Other?

“Why do people leave each other?”. This question often floating around in our mind. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down.

Our weight was only meant to be carried by God.

We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Surah al-Baqarah: 256)

There is crucial lesson in this verse: that there is one hold-hand that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment and security. That place is God.

Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the world as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We as humans are made to seek  love and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal.

So, the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on, in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not and will never be.

And that’s why we live in the world with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this world hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. Only when we stop putting our hopes in world, only when we stop trying to make the world into what it is not and was never meant to be Jannah. So, this life will finally stop breaking our hearts.

We must also realize that nothing happened without a purpose. Nothing, not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken hearts and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that we need to make a change.

We need to detach. Pain is a form of force detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again, the more world hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it.

Allah says “…Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves…”. (Surah al-Ra’d: 11)

By thinking, we can have everything here, our hope was not in meeting with God. Our hope was in world. But what does it mean to place your hope in world? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you are an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you are in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people but depend on Allah.

As Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him, Who created the heavens and the earth and never shall give partners to Allah.” (Surah al-An’am: 79)

But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) describe his journey to that point? He studies the moon, the sun and the stars and realizes that they are not perfect. They let us down. So, Prophet Ibrahim (as) was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like him, we need to put our full hope, trust and dependency on God. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end.

To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him.

And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your hand-hold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.


Wan Hajar Sofea bt Mokhtar
Faculty of Arabic,
Al-Azhar University, Cairo

Source: Reclaim Your Heart

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